(Or, the official colonization of New House Houses 5 and 6 by the displaced summer residents of Random Hall, as mandated by the Powers That Be running MIT ResLife.)

We finally finished moving in to New House yesterday afternoon, when the movers brought in the last truckload of boxes from Random Hall to New House. Kitchens and lounges and rooms were unpacked, while wankery continued to happen over the usual channels of communication and emails went out from various residents looking for last-minute displaced things.

On clam-motherfucking-hole, Lane G.’17 and Aisha W.’16 were flashing XΛM gang signs.

Aisha was also licking Lane's elbow, just because.

But what is a Random Hall invasion without a poorly-drawn diagram/map and accompanying nonsensical floor names — not that New House doesn’t already appear to have plenty of its own? Thankfully, Katie M.’19 and Cannon V.’19 were around to provide plenty of hastily portmanteau’d floor names, and so New Random was born.

I'm pretty proud of myself for 'foo.0' and 'clam-motherfucking-hole kitchen', though.

Due to the spectacular efforts of ResLife, Random Hall floor culture has continued to be preserved within the different floors of New Random, albeit with a few new additions:

clam-hole: Located on the fifth floor of Houses 5 and 6, the clam and Black Hole coalition contains the major concentration of term Randomites, in part due to the fact that many term Randomites from clam and Black Hole decided to stay for the summer. Due to the clam-Black Hole merge, the floor is now both sexier and more memetastic than before. The shared kitchen on 6-5xx, fondly referred to as ‘clam-motherfucking-hole’, contains such amenities as a long table for League games, a smaller side table for Tichu, rhat (the Random Hall VP), and two sinks for twice the number of piles of dirty dishes.

boop: Combined for more practical rather than cultural reasons, the fourth floor of houses 5 and 6 now houses BMF and Loop, both all-female floors of Random Hall. Out of the kindness of its heart, the Loop faction of boop decided at the last New Random house meeting to claim the kitchen on the first floor, allowing the BMF faction to go upstairs and join clam-hole in the clam-motherfucking-hole kitchen. Boop, as residents MJ P.’19 and her ex-roommate, Emma “Dread Pirate” B.’19 would like noted, has such wonderful physical spaces as MJ’s sinuses and lungs, which are quite spacious as she is 5’9.

bonker: The third floor of houses 5 and 6, now occupied by the majority of the fourth floor of Random Hall, bonfire and Pecker. Like boop, this floor also contains no kitchens, so bonfaari have tentatively claimed the kitchen on 5-2, while Pecker has joint ownership of the 6-2 kitchen with Destifoo. Bonker houses slightly more term Randomites than boop, including taylors (ex-Random Hall president), William “one of literally two Tech writers this summer” N.’17, and jtidor, who splits his time between bonker and clam-hole.

destifoo (+5E): Due to stipulations in the housing requests sent to ResLife, the second floor of houses 5 and 6 contains the lowest concentration of Random Hall term residents, combining destiny (small number of term Randomites) with foo (no term Randomites) and clam kitchen-side (basically an offshoot of East Campus’s 5E). Residents of this floor primarily use the 6-2 kitchen, which has a ridiculously high concentration of fridges, with some overflow into the 5-2 kitchen, which lacks a dishwasher. Since the floor is primarily made up of summer residents, its culture is a bit nebulous and non-centralized.

Alice Under Water (AUW): So nicknamed as part of a joke regarding New House and its affinity for water, the first floor of houses 5 and 6 contains a small number of overflow rooms, as well as the aforementioned Loop kitchen and foo.0 (pronounced foo-point-oh), the main lounge, used for big house meetings. The non-house 5 and 6 section of the first floor also contains the Random Hall front desk and laundry, which is card swipe-operated and contains a ghastly amount of washers and dryers for what appears to be such a cramped space.

Unlike Random Hall, New House also appears to have a reasonable number of individual bathrooms and toilets per capita, putting an end to the need for bathroom hunting/a dedicated bathroom server. The kitchens are nice, if a bit cold, and the view from the fifth floor kitchen is gorgeous.

In the rooms, the floors are tiled and fairly shiny, if a bit terrible at absorbing noise. My new assigned room is pretty big, and that plus the fact that my belongings are fewer than usual means that there is an inordinate amount of floor space the likes of which I haven’t had since bunking my bed in a double my freshman year, before the floor became cluttered with junk.

I miss my personal sink, but that was an unreasonably nice advantage of a Random Hall 4-room.